Monday, January 31

I'm Feeling You

Sometimes, I imagine the world without you
But most times, I’m just so happy that I ever found you
It’s a complicated web, that you weave inside my head
So much pleasure with such pain
Hope we always, always stay the same

*) I’m feelin’ the way you cross my mind
And you save me in the nick of time
I’m ridin’ the highs, I’m diggin’ the lows
‘Cause at least I feel alive
I’ve never faced so many emotional days
But my life is good
I’m feelin’ you
I’m feelin’ you

You go, and then I can finally breathe in
‘Cause baby I know, in the end you’re never leavin’
Well we’re rarely ever sane, I drive you crazy and you do the same
But your fire fills my soul
And it warms me up like no one knows 

suddenly fall in love again with Ms. Branch ♡
; )

Saturday, January 29

When you love someone and when you still love someone,

Here's the thing, relationship is messy. I realized it like a couple days ago, which I thought it was bullshit before. I'm a woman that really believe a thing called love. Unfortunately, when it becomes to relationship, sometimes and somehow, it just goes wrong. Wrong here is not about the love itself, but the persons who involve in the relationship. It's my pure opinion.

Basically, people are born with their nature character and it's different in every person. That's why our ancestors found 'Zodiac' or 'Shio' to make it more generalized and easier to read the characters. Besides, people's behavior & perspective built mostly in their family and peers. So when two persons have the same zodiac, it doesn't mean they've exactly the same characters & behaviors. It also relates to how they act when it's about love, relationship, and vice versa.

Every good relationship depends on how two different persons survive, sacrifice, and committed to the love they're shared. Haha. I found it's funny, because the older I am, the more I found love is a plain illusion.
See, like many cases I've met in college is (and I believe I'll meet more after since) people are like in a rush of love. They obsessed with status. The funnier thing is mostly I've found this on women. They obsessed with some particular mr. right guy to be their bfs, not the love itself. Well, I find that is very nature, because, yeah, somehow women may feel insecure when they're single. Well, everyone can feel insecure when they've lack of companions, aight?

At some points in relationship, a couple may experience 'several challenges' that can make the relationship either stronger or weaker. I discover it usually comes on the 3rd month, 7th month, 1st year, 3rd year, and so on and so forth. Well, it's just my generalization from what I've seen & experienced, you may agree nor disagree. It's good if you didn't experience them, tho :p

I've gone through those hard days. I've gone through it all.
Fortunately I found my love is way much stronger and bigger than those stumbling blocks.
Yet, it's not the only obstacle people face in a relationship, based on what I told you earlier. Especially when it's been a quite long time and you know every single thing about your partners.
Somehow, it's just... different.
And everyone has limitations. We all have.

End of story.
(Perhaps I will share a bit for more later. Just be patient ; )

I feel really sorry for those who thought relationship is as easy as change your status on facebook, publish it on twitter, or other social medias.
It ain't that easy dudes.
I'm terribly sorry if my tweets or statuses or posts were some kind like 'galau' or else. They're simply my way to express my feeling, when the memories popped out. Beyond that, I'm doing just fine. Apparently, I'm very happy & passionate with my life :)
Anyway, those medias were made for that thing, weren't they? I did it implicitly and I know that you know I'm in a hard phase. I have my own reasons and life isn't all about social medias, tho :)

Time will tell.
Breaking up is tough. Moving on, either. Those are HUGE, man. Become even harder when it comes with love & too many wonderful memories. (except it becames you & your partner habit in a relationship. It probably will be a big difference, no?)

Pardon me for being such a loser for this thing.
Am still growing & learning.
I believe such thing will make women stronger.
So, stay tuned :)

Much love,


Wednesday, January 26

Current Doze

#1 NYLON Indonesia
How glad it's finally here. Same as the NYLON in the other countries, it is hits and anti-mainstream. I heart this very first issue with Mariana Renata as it's cover girl. Mod, urban, and fresh. Very sweet.
Check out its twitter, website, and NYLON Guys. Way even cooler!
It's grand launching will be at the Love Garage in The Park, an event of Ismaya Live featuring Two Door Cinema Club & Flight Facilities! Who's coming?!

#2 TAMASYA (Sept 2010)
This magazine is my favorite local travel & lifestyle magazine. Monthly, it succesfully makes me want to escape from the reality called Jakarta. Told ya!! lol. Full of travel information, nice articles & photographs, and arrgh! Enough saying. It's very recommended :)
This edition is my current favorite, because I'm that eager to explore Lombok! #2011wish #Amen

#3 Pillow Talk by Christian Simamora
I randomly buy this book because I love the title, cover, and the synopsis on the back. Typical way to buy an interesting book on a bookstore, isn't it? ; ) I have only read the 1st chapter and I'm curious to read more. I love the prologue and its delightful language. However, my best distraction is the book after this.

#4 Why Men Merry Bitches by Sherry Argov
It's kinda late, but hell, this book is a DOPE!! Sherry is the queen of bitch and I'm officially a fellow. Don't take it in a wrong way, you shall read this book and you will treasure what the real 'bitch' is.
Here's a teaser for you.

"Bitch (n): A woman who won't bang her head against the wall obsessing over someone else's opinion - be it a man or anyone else in her life. She understands that if someone does not approve of her, it's just one person's opinion; therefore, it's of no real importance. She doesn't try to live up to anyone else's standards - only her own. Because of this, she relates to a man very differently." 

"When a man sees you are happy with him but you can be just as happy having nothing to do with him, that’s when he won’t want to leave your side. When you are happy, you are sexy." 
- Sherry Argov 

p.s. perhaps you could recommend good books for me to read?
I'm craving for more dozes. Thank you :)


Monday, January 24

The World is Online

The world is literally online.
Have you ever a day in a week not accessed the internet? Well, perhaps some people have ever. However, I believe there are a lot more people haven't done that, esp. in the past few years.


"Do you believe in God?"

A question that I simply answered with "Yes!", when I was 7.
It doesn't mean I don't believe in Him now, but.... yeah let's see.

When I was 6, I wanted a cooking toys. I was begging to my Mama for it. My parents bought me at the other day. Moreover, I got a sister from my mom! God is good.
When I was 7, I wanted to go to kindergarten. Gratefully my parents were able to pay me for school, uniforms, books, and all. I was going to school! I met my new friends and first childhood crush.
When I was 8, I started to feel disturbed by my little sister. All attentions were going to her. I cried a lot. I hate God. God was evil.
When I was 9, I wanted a puppy for my birthday. I got it from my Papa! I love God. God is good.
When I was 10, I was happily playing with my friends. Oh, I got a brother from my Mama! I'm proud! I'm the eldest among all!
When I was 12, I wanted x school for my junior high, because most of my friends went there. My mom didn't let me. So I was going to 'her preference' junior high. I felt sad. God's evil.
When I was 15, I wanted x school for my senior high. My dad didn't let me. So then I was going to 'his preference' senior high. Once again, God's evil.
When I was 17, I felt blessed. I had fabulous friends, boyfriend, and parents. My highest curve in my life. God is totally good.
When I was 18, I felt free! College life was so tempting with so many new challenges! Yet I miss my wonderful highschool friends. And yes, I realized that I went to the very best high school for me. God's fair :)

When I am 19 now, I am too selfish and I want everything.
Unfortunately, you won't have 'everything' in the real life. C'est la vie, kiddo.
He just made me lose something in my life.
Maybe that's the reason for me to go out from my comfort zone.
Maybe that's the reason I shall do something.
Maybe that's the best way to wake me up and stop wasting time.
Maybe that's the best way to start thinking about myself. Just myself & my future.
Maybe that's the reason so I will have the 'everything' in my life soon.

When I grow up, I realized that God gives what you want in a very different way unlike when you were a kid. In fact, He doesn't give all that you want. Imagine if God gave all His people's wants, I bet the world would be as chaos as in God Almighty film!
Apparently God gives us what we need, at the unpredictable time and with an unpredictable way, don't you think? ;)
I don't know but I start to think that everything happens in my life has its own purpose.
Maybe I won't realized now one by one, but sooner or later I know I will.

I believe God have His own way. Even sometimes I feel lost, I don't pray much, vice versa.
I do have my own way and will get along with His way.
I believe He has beautiful plans for everyone; so strive happily, stop jealousy, laugh crazily, and live your life to the fullest!
"In that I command thee this day to love the LORD thy God, to walk in his ways, and to keep his commandments and his statutes and his judgments, that thou mayest live and multiply: and the LORD thy God shall bless thee in the land whither thou goest to possess it."
-Deuteronomy 30:16

Friday, January 21

A rush to remember

That morning, I woke up so early at 5.30 AM (that's sooo early for holidays, no?). I and Amanda, my partner in crime, were having a sleepover at this very special friend of ours that unbelievably drove us mad that morning! Well no, she'd made us crazy since the day we'd met! Hahaha.

Her name is Gadis. Yes, Gadis. Full stop.

Well it started from a very shocking yet happy news that she received a scholar from NTU for one semester! I'm very proud of her. (Fyi, depsite of being my campus mate, Gadis was also my highschool mate, and this smart-ass had been inspiring me since then! )
And soooo it came to the day before her departure. I and Amanda promised for a sleepover. After a long midnight talks, we decided to end it at 3 AM or we would not sleep at all. It was an unforgettable night tho. For me. I realized I have had the very best friends in the world! : )

THAT morning. The morning I won't forget.

It's Thursday morning and Gadis's flight was at 9.10 AM. PLEASE NOTE that the airport was at CENGKARENG and her house was at CINERE. PLUS, it's rush hour, when everybody's going to the office or school. PLUS, suddenly it was raining and succesfully made it worse.

We were departed around 5.45 AM and ta-daaaa it's already a huge traffic when we're out from Bukit Cinere Indah! I turned out panic. Oh anyway there were 2 cars, mine and Gadis's daddy. I, Amanda, and Gadis at my car (my dearest Heiji that would be my savior of the day), and Gad's mom, dad, and sister at the other car. Then "si Om Ganteng" (nickname for Gad's dad. yeah he's handsome man!) lead the konvoy and took the smaller roads (and rougher roads) hoping that the traffic unlike the main Cinere road. It's true that least cars went through those "jalan tikus". But then again, we faced the same bad traffic at the end.
Gadis was upset with her mom that her grumpy words become the backsound everytime her dad called her to tell which way to go. Yeah, everyone turned out panic. It's like, it's still a long way to go, we trapped on the traffic, and there would be more ass-traffic out there. We're still Cinere at 7 AM FOR GOD SAKE!

Finally Gadis decided to go to her dad's car that were far in front of my car. It'd be better, knowing that she'd be with her mom (her mom was also going to Singapore) and all the gigantic suitcases. We're hoping they could make it faster to the airport. So Gadis did it. She walked to her dad's car, through the traffic jam and the pouring rain.

I and Amanda were panic not only because of the traffic, but also because we had not finished our gift for Gadis!! Yes, we're planning to make a table decor with our+Gadis's faces on it, but we didn't have time to meet and finish it before the sleepover.

So what did you expect after Gadis left my car? YES WE'RE MAKING IT.
It's quite hard, you know, especially when finally we FINALLY passed the traffic and got into the highway and I was running 130kms/hour CONSTANTLY. Gila. That was really gila. That's the time I feel really grateful for having Heiji, a 2500cc vehicle. (Mostly I cursed him because it's too extravagant :/ )
Suddenly, Amanda started to feel nausea. (yah we probably feel it if we do things in the car, right?). I asked her lay her head down and close her eyes for a moment. So what I did next? I surreptitiously made the decor while running fast in the highway! That's another gila. I feel gila at the time. Yet I thought it's worthy because the person that we made this for was so special :) We promised to give that whatever it took.

Anyway you may wonder why it was suddenly traffic-free? It's because we went through BSD, a bit further yet alternative road to Soekarno Hatta.
And finally, we all could arrived there around 8.30 AM and THE DECOR'S DONE! What a rush baby!!

I felt so emo when finally we could met Gadis before she's boarding. Before that, I was kinda pessimistic if we could met, because I thought Gadis would be "rempong" with her over-weight baggages and all! And yeah, finally we could met, whether it's only less than a minute. It was literallly less than a minute!
We gave her our very "apa-adanya" gift (we hope you like it and put it on ur table, Gad :) and hugged her very tight!!!

So long buddy! Take care of yourself. Prove your best to NTU!!
See you in 6 months, Gad :')
I love you and am very proud of you.


Tuesday, January 11

Territorial Pissings

Territorial Pissings, 2010

Foto oleh Ninoy Gading
Desain oleh Jason Iskandar

Congratulations for all the crew!!! Esp. Jason Iskandar, you're the God man! LOL

Sunday, January 9

Crave You - Flight Facilities ft. Giselle

My new 2011 addiction.
I really LOVE everything in this song. Vocal, rhytms, and ALL.
And yes, I crave you.

" ...
Let's just stop and think, before I lose face
Surely I can't fall, into a game of chase
Around his little finger, that boy has got me curled
I try to reach out, but he's in his own world
This boy's got my head tied in knots with all his games
I simply want him more because he looks the other way

Why can't you want me like the other boys do?
They stare at me while I stare at you
Why can't I keep you safe as my own?
One moment I have you the next you are gone
Rehearsed steps on an empty stage
That boy's got my heart in a silver cage
Why can't you want me like the other boys do?
They stare at me while I crave you

I am craving you

... "

Friday, January 7

a little note,

It's been a while when you are not around.
I do think of you.
And I miss you.
Yet somehow I need this kind of feeling.
Miss you and keep missing you
Haven't talked much with you recently, while we always talk and see each other very often back then.
It's just the part of my needs..... to spice everything up.
Sorry but I truly miss you. I do :)
Don't get upset.
Let it be.

p.s. next week is ours, only you and me *yang lain ngontrak*